As her fingers pulled back the duvet,
and she settled into her bed,
she let her head hit her pillow.
Would she see him tonight?
Would he allow himself to come into her fantasy,
to let her hear his voice.
Or would it be just another night of wishing to ask questions that had no answers?
As her eyes fought the night with its bare hands,
she realized that all she wanted was justification.
Reason as to why he made his decision,
as to why he left her with nothing more than memories.
So when he did show,
which was more often recently,
she made sure to ask those questions that gnawed at her heart.
There were only so many chances she would receive.
Stupidly, she thought there were be a simple explanation,
That he would tell her why he decided that one breath would be his last.
Each time, he said nothing.
Each time, she felt her heart break and anger rise in her chest
and dissapointment’s talons claw at her skin.
Was it really that hard to answer a simple question?
When she did wake from her dream,
and the feeling of losing him again breathed down her neck,
she came to understand that there was no answer.
That no matter how many times she pleaded with him to answer,
begged him through clenched teeth and tearful eyes,
he would never say what she wanted to hear.
He would never answer her “why’s”.
Maybe he wanted to protect her,
to keep her heart from hurting more than it already did.
Maybe it was because no explanation could undo what he had done
or bring him back to her.
She wanted to believe that there was an answer,
that it could bring her peace.
But too many tears had been shed and too much abandonment had cut through flesh.
Maybe this just had to happen.